Pretenders

What is something you have learned lately?

Wow,what a question!

In July of the previous year,while we where at a Five Below, I put my pride on the side and asked my cousin if she could buy me the 300 writing prompts by Picadilly Inc. As soon as I laid my eyes on the jewel,I saw myself in a cabin somewhere far,very far,in a forest,on the wooden  floor in front of the small fireplace, a mug of hot chocolate next to my feet, writing… Oh, and why not, a cute guy? I know I would enjoy his presence. Haha!… Okay, back to the main point.

She actually bought it for me . And I will be forever grateful,this journal is so cute,interesting,and entertaining. Some questions bring back memories I didn’t think I had,some questions make me discover parts of my personality I didn’t know existed. It’s amazing!

So ,one day, the question I had to answer was ” What is something you have learned lately?” I had to think a lot before answering to this. I learned many things lately,but I thought of the comportment a certain person had… And the comportment of that same person later on. And the word came… I thought Pretenders. I saw it written in red neon lights. Pretenders, She, He, Them, Us…

I’ve learned about pretenders.

You know,people who seem so fearless,so invincible, but who have so many insecurities. I know,we all have insecurities and living with them is not an easy task,especially in a judgment based society. We also have fears that we must learn to control. But sometimes we take it far,very far.

Even if we spend the day hiding our feelings, lying to others but also to ourselves about how strong we are, how we don’t take s~~~ from nobody, how he or she is afraid of us ( I honestly think people are so funny and delusional when they are convinced that a person is afraid of them just because they act like they can do whatever they want) ,  how we know everything, how bold we are. Even if we spend hours telling people how fierce we are because for five minutes we proved someone that they cannot mess with us because we “don’t play”. We prove how smart we are because we did some research; we say that we are “savage” just so others can behave around us. We try to think that we don’t need anyone because we did this or that by ourselves when no one was there, at the end of the day, most of us drown in anxiety,stress and pressure,we feel bad because of the way we treated someone (we just won’t admit it), we still have a lot to learn because intelligence is not only based on A’s and B’s, we ask ourselves if we didn’t take the respect of another for us as a fear,and we realize that once in a while, even everyday ,we need a hand,we need another human being…

We raise our voices,get mad,we put an attitude on and convince ourselves that “they know not to play with us” while the other person is laughing at us in their head or simply doesn’t care…

Don’t get me wrong, I know some of us have a short temper, I know that some lessons from life can leave us with scars that take time to heal and,in order to protect ourselves,we put that mask on and try to build a wall around our hearts, I know some people can test our patience and make us act inhuman but it is not the answer. To those who were “born this way” try to make an effort and see how you can change yourself and those around you for the best. To those who are pure pretenders,and eventually suffer when the cape falls at night or anytime during the day it won’t benefit you at all,it will just make you overthink and ruin your mental health because we don’t pretend justifiably. We pretend to impress…

-A.

 

 

 

 

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We could be heroes

                                      

                                                                                                        Port-Au-Prince,12/7/16     

The idea came unexpectedly in my mind while I was in class.I wanted to make a Christmas card for Pucca (one of my friends) and her family. I made a list of the things I would need to make my card and I started writing different kind of wishes. Suddenly, I saw the faces of the other girls with that grateful smile I like to put on people faces and I wanted to do more than one card,I knew I would be happier if I made more people happy.

As soon as I got home,I spoke to my sister about it and she welcomed the idea with a bright smile. Since she had to decorate her classroom the next day,we decided to work together,I designed the stuff,she cut them and we both colored them. We spent half of the night making paper gloves,stockings,Christmas trees,gingerbread cookies,and cards.

Since I couldn’t find inspiration for the wishes,I decided to write positive quotes on them and inside the cards. The Energy around us was so amazing, I didn’t want to go to sleep! It was way past our bedtime which is nine o’clock but we weren’t even sleepy! My back was hurting me because we had to sit on the bed since we didn’t have a desk but it didn’t matter,what mattered was the wonderful work we were doing. I felt like an elf working in Santa’s atelier,I wasn’t tired and despite the fact that my dad came to tell us to go to bed around midnight,I couldn’t sleep,I was too excited.

Today,you guys should have seen their faces,shining,smiling,even crying. From Isa L. to Edm Al.. This felt so good, I felt like I was a heroe. Then,my two good friends, A2 told me that it’d be better to do more,for a few girls near us who we really appreciate,we took our materials and started the work; next thing you know,the whole Philo A had a Christmas present. They were all so grateful but what made me happier was that girl who never had anything for Christmas, and it was her first gift,I told my friends: ” girls,if that didn’t make you feel like wonderwomen,I honestly don’t know what will “. Like,can you imagine this? She never received a gift and even though her first one was a piece of paper with a positive message in it,she was more than grateful and she kept it next to her heart,preciously,until lunchtime.

I will never forget that day,these smiles,these dances,these “thank yous”,the hugs,the kisses….Wow! And you know what I realized? First, the quotes were kind of connected to their owners,it’s like each quote was exactly what they needed if you understand what I mean,they were matching their personality,were the answers to their questions or the perfect help.Second, I realized that heroes don’t wear capes,just regular clothes,they have struggles but they still do their best to help others everyday,to bring them joy. We are friends with heroes,they are family members,teachers,doctors,and even strangers and most importantly,we ARE heroes. I am so proud us and the wonderful actions we take to make the world feel better.

Thank you to the amazing authors : Paulo Coelho, J.K Rowling (Dumbledore), without you and your great work, I wouldn’t be able to put some magic in the cards.

P.S : I know I didn’t post anything,I was saving this special one for Christmas. And I hope you guys appreciate it.

✨I wanted to thank A2 and my sister for their help that day,for always accepting and supporting my ideas. To you,my dear readers,no matter where you’re from,HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! My best wishes,and prayers to you and your families,be safe and enjoy!

Love,Light and Blessings 

A.

Cherish…

Jacmel, 7/28/16

The idea came all of a sudden while I was sipping some tea with bread and butter. In full tasting, I hear the fairies’s call. Without hesitation,i take my mug and go outside so I can contemplate the starry sky but I thought it would be better with my sisters. ( Aisha,Nakia,Yvanka and Lau’) so I invited them. Thank God,they accepted and I could feel their joy. The nymphs kept reminding me of something I always wanted to do,they said it was the right moment… I sat on the ground and then laid on my back,inviting the girls to do the same. To my surprise,they didn’t look at me like I was  crazy or ask me if I was okay. So we let our souls be connected freely,in serenity,harmony,respect and trust with each other as we were admiring the milky way.

I was watching the milky way!! Not in pictures or videos but right in front of me! I never thought this was possible only if you lived in the North like Iceland etc… But, I was in my backyard,starring at the milky way. I was so excited! We all were and it was beyond amazing.

We weren’t even scared ( don’t ask why would we be. It was dark,a lot of tall trees,bugs even frogs and other animals and insects and guys! They used to tell us a lot of scarry stories about the countryside) because our guardians ( the trees) were there,telling us that everything was okay,we were in Harmony with Nature. They were dancing,humming…

We were also blessed by the visit of eight whitelighters ( what you guys call shooting stars) eight angels and I just couldn’t find the words to describe my joy. There was a flame inside me,an energy ball; it was growing after every wish I made and then it was out of my body, with four others,in synchronicity. I was wondering if the girls were able to see them but I didn’t ask.

Anyway,I know that all our wishes will come true because Mother Nature always listens to her children.

If I write this today, is to remind you of the  value of moments with your family. So my dear readers, cherish the ones you love,no matter what. Try to make peace with them,love them unconditionally. Who would have thought that one year later I would be this far? Miles,hours away? We never know what is next so cherish….cherish.

-A

 

A conversation with the Moon

My Full Moon  Rebirth

It was 8/18/17

And suddenly, I woke up in the middle of the night as usual. But this time,it is not like before. It’s Full Moon. My Mother, (The Moon) woke me up because she wanted to talk to me. So I just stood there,by the window to listen to her. She was so beautiful,so fascinating that I had to ask why. Why was she so amazing?

I accepted her call and talked to her.

I told her how grateful I was for all the things,people and wonderful moments God and her put on my path. I told her how gorgeous she was and how much I admire her. I inhaled Positivity and Exhaled Negativity. I also asked her a few questions; about these religions etc… Because, I don’t think that a religion is better than the other cause,ALL the religions, I repeat ALL the religions are teaching us the same things Love,Peace,Respect…

I was thinking about the Indians who were living in Haiti before Christopher C. They say my ancestors “adored” Trees, The Sun,The Moon and even the Stars… But all of these things are Nature at its finest. And remember, they ALWAYS told us that we find God in Nature, that God is Nature. And lets be honest,if my ancestors,well our ancestors were smart enough to build all these amazing things,don’t you guys think they believed that someone or something was behind the Magnificence of the Earth? Was controlling the balance of this planet?

Weren’t they adoring God because they thought he was present in his own  creations? Because, *Magical places are always beautiful and deserve to be contemplated. Waterfalls,Mountains and Forests are all places where the Spirits of Earth tend to play and laugh and speak to us. And, *God manifests himself in everything .She answered:  ” Yes but not everybody will believe you”.  Well, I didn’t care, I usually don’t. Only The Almighty can prove me wrong…if I am

More questions. What about the Vikings, the Egyptians,the Greek and the Roman ” gods?” And the African spirits? I think they were messengers or Powerful Guardians or if you want, God’s ’employees’. Because,seriously, taking care of a whole planet is not easy. Of course God needed some help. But here’s the thing. There is always the most powerful of them… Well, maybe that’s how they called God. Just by another name. Where is the sin?   She shook her head and then smiled at me. ” That wasn’t an answer” I said. She then answered ” I know…”

And Jesus? I know he existed. He was a messenger just like Buddha, Mohammed etc. The greatest, God’s Son. But because of our  stubbornness, we messed up,like  always. And all these religions based on Catholicism? Ah, it’s almost the same thing. They kept what they were okay with,mixed it what they wanted and Voilà ! More and more religions. As simple as that. I don’t blame anyone,we all want to understand and we are finding ways to do so.

What about witches? And I am talking about the good ones. We all know everything has a good and a bad side. The good ones were killed because they were just using plants,and casting Spells to help the world feel better. But of course, at this time nobody had the intelligence to ask for explanations. Humans are afraid of what they don’t know and because *The path of magic – like the path of life – is and always will be the path of Mystery…they just assume its bad and they destroy it… Using plants to heal is wrong? But when you have a cold you drink tea? .  And the Spells? Come on, they are just a different kind of prayer to boost the process. We are powerful but we are too afraid to realize it or,some of us will destroy the beauty of our power by destroying hundred of lives.

They killed, and they dared say “we are doing this in the name of God” How dare you? God is Love,not war or death.

If using plants, casting Spells and believing in the power of Crystals makes you a witch, than I am one even if I am still trying to understand the meaning of Magic and the fact that it is a bridge between the Visible and the Invisible world.And anyway, *Magic speaks all the language of the human heart.  People love jewelery but when it comes to use them for the Greater Good, they say it is against their religion. They buy Elephants for Good Health, burn incense for luck and more, they buy Himalayan salt lamps,plant when it’s Full Moon,cut their hair and more…. What religion? *God placed his pharmacy in the woods and fields,so that everyone could enjoy good health.So, you mean to tell me He created all these beautiful things for us just to waste them? Come on!

She smiled again and blowed me a goodbye kiss.

I can’t explain how I felt that night. It felt so good spending such a great time with her. It felt like a  Newbirth, knowing all these things,finding all these answers.The way I saw things changed.I changed. It was  Magical! I did my Ritual and went back to bed.

P.S : For those asking, I am a Catholic and I won’t change my religion. I also respect and Value . But I  know that our ” leaders” are either hiding things from us or they just can’t find the missing pieces of the Puzzle. And trust me, I KNOW that we are living in a Magical World.

* these are quotes from Brida by Paulo Coelho that I marked a long time ago

Love, Light and Blessings,

-A

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mother Nature’s blessing

A taste of freedom

April 2016

I was at school,in grade 12 (in Haïti we have 13)

As we walked,my friends and I (we call ourselves A3) under the rain,I felt submerged by a wave of happiness

I just stood,in the middle of the schoolyard. Some girls were staring at me but I didn’t care. My Mother was Blessing me. I opened my arms and invited my friends to do the same; They thought I was just being crazy, as usual but they still stood by my side  and I smiled even if I knew that they weren’t feeling IT.

I closed my eyes,lifted my head and opened my mouth. The rain was washing my skin from the dust,cleaning my blood,erasing my pains. My entire body was in another dimension and I was on the bridge, between the visible and the invisible. This bridge was my escape and in a few seconds,I was already in another world

I am somewhere. In a tropical forest. It’s raining. I am wearing a white maxi dress with  flowers in my hair. The sun hides behind the clouds “but it doesn’t matter” he said; “You enlight the Universe”. I smiled  at him and bowed my head as a sign of respect

As I start dancing under the rain,two nymphs come by my side,they remind me of my friends. We take each others hands and we twirl in a circle,I see a unicorn walking with  two fairies we wave at them. They start singing in a foreign language,we don’t understand them but I still dance and soon I sing too,liberating my lungs from that oppressive air.

It’s like a rebirth.I feel so new,so clean. Thank you Mother

I hear a bell and suddenly,I am back.In the real world with my uniform, and the girls still staring at me like I am crazy. But maybe I am. That is the reason why I almost started singing  “I’m a dreamer baby,say y’all think I’m crazy,well I said maybe.Cause maybe I am” by Tommy Trash & DENM. But I seriously don’t get why some people are afraid to dream,to let their imagination rule sometimes,come on! There’s nothing wrong with it.

After all,we just want to get free.

-A

 

Peaceful Travelers

I rest in my frenzy,I let the ripples rock me sometimes slowly,sometimes rapidly. I am by myself amidst all those people,surrounded by the sound of silence,the nature’s sound,singing her joy of being with me in this so simple but so insignificant to others moment.

I like the way the water transforms the music into thud in my ears. I like the fireball that I am seeing in the middle of the ocean we also call sky, the branches are trying to catch it everytime I open my eyes. I like the feeling of hovering on the water without worrying about anyone. Life is Beautiful 

We are travelers and these transports we call “Books” bind us to each other. Today, I am watching each of you traveling in a different world. We don’t  know each other,we don’t talk to each other we don’t even see each other. But our transports bind us trough this immense love we feel for them

NB: I wrote this last summer while I was at the pool at the Karibe Convention Center a hotel located in Pétion-ville,Haïti.

Signs

If you know me,you know  that I’m the one who screams “It’s a Sign” whenever something happens. Well,I believe in signs and I know I am not the only one even if sometimes we try to make ourselves think otherwise maybe because we are afraid or we don’t accept the fact that the Universe communicates with us

This “Sign thing” like my family members call it caused a lot of shaking heads,weird glances,smirks and many more. But I’m going to tell you a story and,trust me,after that night they all accepted my “Sign thing”

It happened last summer. I when I was living in Haiti,we used to go to Jacmel every week-end,carnival,Christmas,Easter… But my dad decided to rent the house so for two years,we had to stay at the hotel or in Port-Au-Prince or we travelled to the States. These are just details,now back to the story

So I have three cousins Aïsha Nakia and Yvanka they live in Haïti. We always wanted to go to Jacmel together but we never had the chance. Last summer they were all at my house in Pétion-ville and my dad decided to go there. I was super excited even though we went there twice at the beginning of the year; without even thinking I told Aïsha to call her dad. Nakia said they always wanted to go there but they never had the opportunity I immediatly felt bad because I was imagining them leaving,us going there,then I smiled and told her to create the opportunity. She said her father wouldn’t answer her  calls, I was litterally losing patience and I screamed ” Then send him a text! We are in 2016 for God’s sake. She did so and he said yes. Next thing you know,we were packing for the next day

We left the house around one PM. *it’s easier to go early in the morning or late in the   afternoon to avoid traffic but we took the chance. Around three PM,we were in a traffic in Fontamara, two hours passed and we were still stuck in traffic so we stopped the cars,turned on the radios,blasting Sweet Micky, joking and drinking Rhum Barbancourt that’s when I said that it was a Sign but nobody paid attention as always. Finally,around eleven PM, we were near Le lambi night club which is like one hour from home but my dad couldn’t see Patrice (my step brother ) who was driving another car with Aïsha Yvanka and Olivier (my brother)  *I was in another car with mommy my dad Nakia and Laureen (my step sister) . So my dad called them  and Patrice told him that the tire broke (Oops) and I laughed causing a glance from my mother. Mind you,my dad was furious he was cursing and stuff… But I told them to stay calm because a few days after we would talk about this and laugh so…

Again,I told them that it was a Sign they told me to be quiet and I don’t like being told  what to do so I whispered it again. My dad tried to fix the tire but he broke the tool,still cursing the poor guy,he tried again and broke another tool ( it’s a Sign for God’s sake!). After a few calls,someone came to pick the car and drove it to a gas station nearby so we had to put our bags,comforters and pillows in one car. Aïsha was in the front seat,Patrice,Nakia,Yvanka and mommy were in the backseat. Olivier  Laureen and I were in the trunk sitting on the comforter mommy put for us since we  could not unfold the seats. My dad still wanted to go to Jacmel that’s insane I know and deep inside,I prayed the Universe for another sign because 1- I couldn’t stop laughing at Yvanka,and I was imagining the car bending 2- Only another sign could save us. So we had to make a turn and of course the car was heavy I saw my dad’s face in the mirror trying to turn and I started laughing so loud even my mom smiled my sister started laughing too (it’s always like that between us). My dad finally decided to go home. OUF!

I could not stop laughing because of the way Yvanka’s head was moving everytime the car bounced on the road and Olivier was trying to do it to so it was hilarious!. By the time we were reaching Canapé-vert, I was grinning imagining the car sliding down the hill. I tried to be serious then my dad asked “what if one of you fart?” And we all bursted in laughter

We got home around one in the morning and my dad was like, “there are things that happen in life and you have to be smart enough to understand the Signs”… I went straight to bed,shocked.

*This is not about the Signs but I wanted to share the rest of the story with you guys

So the next morning,my dad went out with my brothers,so they could buy another tire and fix the other one. I was thinking about one thing, Jacmel. By Noon,things were set up, but this time I decided to be comfy by myself in the trunk eating raisin bran and blasting music ready to hit the road!

 

 

 

You will find rest

Have you ever been in a difficult situation in life and suddenly, out of nowhere,maybe from a book or a car sticker,you see a message ,a quote and you feel like it was written just for you, like it was placed here to help you?

Well,on a friday afternoon,three months ago it happened to me. I mean,this happen to me so often but I want to share this episode with you  because it was so unbelievable and it happened in the right moment. Like at that moment,I didn’t know how to describe my life (I still don’t), I was tired of thinking and I was bored ( Actually,I’m never really bored  since my imagination is always up to something but hey,you understand. Right? Okay 😊. So, I started reading a book (Chasing red by Isabelle Ronin)I found on a friend profile on Wattpad. The book doesn’t really have a direct relation with life issues but a part of Red’s story can be possible. So, I saw message,something Red’s mom told her about difficult moments. I was so grateful that I did a screenshot.

“Everything that happens in your life is to prepare you. Metal has to go through fire to melt and turn into a sword.Be strong because this is just a test,YOU are being melted,being molded into a stronger person. This burning from the fire shall pass and YOU WILL FIND REST. Don’t give up honey”

 

Look,when I tell you that the  Universe is listening,watching. I was so inspired by this paragraph and I think I had a crush on Caleb lol; I put the book in my private library. I never really wanted to read it but I just clicked “comme par magie”. So when we will be stronger,when we will finally be Swords,I hope we won’t forget this so we will remember and say, “See buddy? You did it!”

-A 

 

An artist in nature

Seated behind this easel,in the middle of nowhere,within Mother Nature,my feet buried in the wet grass,lulled by the sweet morning breeze,feeling the first rays of the sun piercing my pores to heat me,I quiver.Surrounded by the dragonflies,the butterflies,the ants and why not the ladybugs?,I am listening to the bee’s buzzing,the bird’s song ,the nightly silence accompanied by my heart’s beatings;Inhaling the smell of the wet earth and the bewitching perfume of the flowers,feeling the presence of the angels,the fairies,the stars and the nymphs…

I’m Drawing 

I’m Painting 

I let my imagination rule.I feel a tremendous pleasure by freeing my soul of it’s thoughts wether they are good or bad.I leave a positive legacy on this virgin canva which lies in front of me like a naked woman offering herself to her soulmate.My entire body is taken by euphoria as it owns this magical freedom,the freedom to CREATE

-A.