Vèt

                        Lib

                    Soulaje

                    Kontan

I spent the whole day in bed. I’m not in a bad mood, I’m alright. It’s just one of those days where all you feel like is just being… being here, present. Just breathing, relaxing.

It’s nine something (PM) and since yesterday, there has been one talk : “ A snow storm is coming”, but I am not thinking about that. I was just on Instagram, scrolling through @ _2tchucks’ page {that page is so inspiring! Check it out!} and my eyes were stuck on two pictures ; one is the profile of a black girl looking up and next to her are many plants. The other one is like an indoor garden with a pool.

Physically, I am in that bed, laying lazily under at least two blankets and a comforter but in my mind, as always, I am far far away.

I am in that garden. Sitting in the pool sipping a glass of red wine. After a few minutes, I get out, naked, with an ivory towel around my head. I am walking graciously towards the balcony, and someone takes a picture of me when I first got out and when I’m walking. I feel comfortable, confident, clean, refreshed.

Now, I am standing on the balcony, gazing at a splendid  of tropical trees, by an intriguing , deep blue ocean.

Click.

Another picture.

 

Next thing you know, I am somewhere in California ( my mind is such a speedy wanderer) , the weather is cool, I don’t know where I am exactly but it’s raining and although my heartbeats seem to compete with the thrumming rain, I am at peace.

My friend is playing with my hair, she says I’m her personal doll. Something is calling me ; gently, I grab the end of my linen maxi dress, take her hand and we rush outside.

We are surrounded by verdure, by moisture, by pure wet air and it feels amazing. As the raindrops fall on my skin,I giggle and turn my head to face my friend who takes a picture of “her doll”.

 

I made it this far, I actually made it. And Besides pride, I feel free, free of that heavy bag on my skinny but so strong shoulders. I am relieved, all that worry was unnecessary and my hard work combined with my faith paid off. Finally. I am Happy.

An energy ball is  growing in my belly. I can feel it expanding slowly, slowly, and then boom! This is it.

I explode into tears. First, they are tears of sorrow and regret. Then come tears of relief, which make space for the tears of joy. As I let them roll on my already wet face, I close my eyes so I can feel deeply the soothing massage of the heavy drops on my scalp.

I raise my head and open my eyes, hardly trying to look at the sky. It’s a bit cloudy but I can see the clear view that will come after the rain. One question comes in my mind.

Am I not like the world,all heavy and dirty, full of sadness and anger? An elaborate answer wouldn’t come, so another question popped up… And like the world, am I not also full of life, love, light, happiness and strength? Yes. Yes I am ; it is true, that suitcase of darkness becomes overwhelming but like the rain came to wash the land and my body, my tears just cleared my mind.

And there was the answer to both questions:

Rain cleanses our air,

Tears cleanse our souls.

– A.

01/19/19

PS: All capital words are in Haitian Creole.
Vèt, pronounced like “vet” means green.

Lib, pronounced like the lib in “liberty “ means freedom.

In Soulaje, “soul” is pronounced like the English word “soul”,
“la” is pronounced like the music note and “je” like “jay”.
The word means Relieved.

Kontan : “Kon” is pronounced “Kön” and “Tan” is like the tan in
AssisTANT but without the second T. Kontan means Happy.

I’m not good at describing pronunciations , I tried to do my best here.

I thank you for taking your time to read and appreciate my work. Don’t forget to like, share and feel free to tell me what you think!

 

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